Finding the Silver Lining

As the countdown reaches four, I think it is starting to finally hit me. The past two days have been spent packing (my least favorite activity) and with the solitude that packing brings, I find my thoughts consuming me. Over the past two years, College has been quite the adventure. I have faced different challenges that have changed who I am, but I feel as though I have strayed from the path that I had originally set for myself. Florence is exactly what I need in my life right now.

For the past 20 (almost 21) years, I have lived in the same place and as lovely as SoCal is, change is beyond necessary. Europe has always been a place where my mind escapes to when life seemed a little to hard to handle but now, Europe is a reality. Over the past few days I have discovered that I need to leave now more than ever because I need 'me' time. It is my turn to grow and change and I am terrified but in a healthy, more excited/nervous kind of way. There has been nothing in my life that I haven't been able to handle, Europe is no different. I need to have faith in my own life and know that it is moments like these that shape and define who we are. I have had a lack of moments in the past two years that have really challenged me. The lack of internal growth and too much focus on others is unfair to my own soul. My little Madison had a long talk with me about how it is okay to be scared but I need to finally realize that I am not easily dispensable and it is important that I just trust myself and this journey I am about to embark on. The biggest challenge in life is simply trusting it. Having faith in something I can't always control. Being completely open to what is thrown at me and never thinking for a moment that I will be forgotten because that is a silly thought to have to begin with. I am lucky to have the beautiful life that I do and I guess my biggest struggle is finally accepting that right now, my life is about...me. Not my friends, not my family, not my sisters, but me. I have been neglecting myself and that is never a healthy thing.


I am thankful for a lot of people in my life right now and I trust that they will support me and encourage me throughout my entire trip because those closest to me know that it is time my life gave back to me instead of me always giving to others. I love quotes and here is one that I have always had an attachment too but finally feel is holding true...
   "I believe that my life's gonna see, the love I give, return to me" -John Mayer


It is time to have my own adventure.

Ciao.